The scene rolls, and I force all this noisy non-sence into mute. I’ve only escaped the world to watch it in mere silence. I’ve turned it into a play, and I’ve rather chosen to be it’s narrator… Only to tell different stories of different people taking the same path, rising to the same climax and having almost the same plots, apart from minimal differences…

They’re scattered everywhere, lands away and oceans apart, lost in their own complexities. Destiny, just as surprising and confusing, brings people together, introduces them, merges their lives into one only to separate them once more. And if it’s not destiny, then it’s time, distance and place that take the job of making that jigsaw puzzle of humans even harder to place together.

Throughout these random processes of colliding two or even more distinct worlds into one, and having one life stumble upon and roll over the other, we still see their stories repeat themselves, if not complete the other. And when empty blanks and questions impose, it only takes an awakened mind to look for the answers in the other version of the story. Soon we realize, it’s not really another version of the same story, it’s rather the continuation of the exact tale… and we all give ourselves the leading role, we all become the Protagonists of not only our own intimate stories, but also the other ones that one way or the other we manage to play a role in their script.

More and more lives are fused into one, spearate worlds are merged together and the more diverse this becomes, the greater and more interlinked the plot presents itself, untill eventually every single formerly independent story now becomes significantly interconnected and correlated to its sister publication.
The world slowly serves in building the same jumbled maze of surprise and confusion that we unconsiously bound ourselves to. It’s no loarger than a small world. It’s no longer than a short story.

It slowly presents itself as the routine we love to hate. But we seem to like it, to enjoy it, even if it gets on our nerves at times, and drives us out of our mind.

If life was a play, then apparently we have the upperhand and the absolute authority to choose the characters we want to act  with. But that’s all and that’s it; this is where our supreme sence of being in charge comes to an end because The everyday script we go through and the characters we’re continuously introduced to in reality is something far beyond our influence and decision. This is where our only role is to play along the show that’s never over… So here’s the thing: Play it true and honest. Keep it real, so that your whole life doesn’t slip away as a fantacy… So that your world doesn’t become a never-ending show that you crave it’s end…

It’s not how many stories you know, or how many stories you tell, it’s how many of these stories have you played a positive act in. It’s how many of these stories have you managed, or atleast tried to help adding a better resolution to.

Bits of your story are parts of my everyday filmstrip that I love watching, and relating to… That I love being a part, even if it’s the tiniest one, of. I see your life merge into others’. I see  your worlds collide. You walk away from people, closer to others and the same complexity persists now that it has become part of the script’s default.
I see people walk into your life, a few slip away, a few stay, and a few more you don’t seem to notice.

Wheather it’s your world that has struck mine, or the other way round, or who stumbled upon who, we’ve all managed to walk into each other’s lives… We’ve all managed to find that one common factor that could bind our worlds together, and bring them closer… One that links our stories and draws this seemingly distant but real relashionship…
And when it pushes it too close, I wander… And wonder, how a distant narrator, could suddenly become somehow,someone else’s play’s Protagonist…

If your life was a play, then I’m no longer a narrator.

If my life was a play, then you’ve become it’s Protagonist.

Filed under: Uncategorized ]]> http://rpremises.wordpress.com/2012/01/19/small-world/feed/ 0 Rana http://rpremises.wordpress.com/2011/11/10/sometimes-just-as-simple/ http://rpremises.wordpress.com/2011/11/10/sometimes-just-as-simple/#comments Thu, 10 Nov 2011 18:34:23 +0000 Rana http://rpremises.wordpress.com/?p=1065 ]]>

I never really draw stick men. But sometimes there’s no point of adding a deep edge to the drawing. What’s the use when what we feel is just  too simple to be trapped within too many lines and shades…

Sometimes all you need to bring out how you feel in a drawing is no more than a few lines and a caption.

Sometimes the only option you have is to keep it plain, clear, and just as simple!

In our headlights, staring, bleak, beer cans, deer’s eyes
On the asphalt underneath, our crushed plans and my lies
Lonely street signs, powerlines, they keep on flashing, flashing by

And we keep driving into the night
It’s a late goodbye, such a late goodbye
And we keep driving into the night
It’s a late goodbye

Your breath hot upon my cheeck, and we crossed, that line
You made me strong when I was feeling weak, and we crossed, that one time
Screaming stop signs, staring wild eyes, keep on flashing, flashing by

And we keep driving into the night
It’s a late goodbye, such a late goodbye
And we keep driving into the night
It’s a late goodbye

The devil grins from ear to ear when he sees the hand he’s dealt us
Points at your flaming hair, and then we’re playing hide and seek
I can’t breathe easy here, less our trail’s gone cold behind us
Till’ in the john mirror you stare at yourself grown old and weak

And we keep driving into the night
It’s a late goodbye, such a late goodbye…

I’ve spared you a place within, if not all of myself. I’ve promised to keep you safe and secure, to keep you as happy as happy could possibly be… And I’m keeping my promise. Distance pulls me away and sets us apart but it’s all beyond my will. A thousand miles away, but I’ve always managed to keep you close, to keep you home. Actually, to keep myself close to what I’ve tagged as home; to you.

The distance persists, and so is what I hold deep within. It rather grows stronger and wilder. It will never fade. Distance grows quieter, and only then should my words whisper into your ears that I’m there, that I’m waiting… that I’m thinking and hurting just as much… that I’m holding on, gripping so tightly… keeping you deep within.

No matter how far, I’ll never forget. You never leave, and nothing will take over. No matter how far, there’s always too much that I will remember. Memories, I’ve kept intact within myself… No matter how far, I’ve got you to bring back some hope into  me.

No matter what, I hold you close… Deep within…

And I wonder, how intimate is your deep within? x

Filed under: Uncategorized ]]> http://rpremises.wordpress.com/2011/11/08/deep-within/feed/ 0 Rana http://rpremises.wordpress.com/2011/11/05/wander/ http://rpremises.wordpress.com/2011/11/05/wander/#comments Sat, 05 Nov 2011 01:05:24 +0000 Rana http://rpremises.wordpress.com/?p=1058 ]]> I walk into an empty time line accompanied by thoughts that guide me through. Thoughts? or is it rather feelings? Whatever it was, I was still stuck somewhere on that time line, somewhere on the edge between a chain of past memories and a subtle present. And I couldn’t go any further, so I chose to wait… But for how long? I was offered no answer…

My time line went from a beautiful fast forward into a sudden pause… Actually, a rewind. A loop that never ended, and never seemed to be ending anytime soon. So I wandered… Through the track both my thoughts and feelings built for me to linger… To nowhere… So as I waited, I wandered…
Feelings were too intense to escape my thoughts into a concrete verbal saying. They failed to attain a verbal identity and instead, fled into a  heart-rending music note to be expressed.  One that slowly played itself into a rising harmony of meanings that i myself couldn’t understand… As it played, I listened, and wandered…

I recall one summer’s night
Within the month of June
Flowers in mahogany hair
And smell the earth in bloom
Only such a melody
Comes without a sound
More than faintly heard by those
Who know what they have found
Now it’s just a memory

Silently we wander
Into this void of consequence
My shade will always haunt her
But she will be my guiding light

Silently we wander
In search of truth and confidence
So many hopes were lost here
Along the way from morning to night

Meet me by the wishing well
In cover of the moon
Whisper to me tenderly
That I will see you soon
Sing that song from long ago
So I remember you
Flowers in mahogany hair
And mellow days in June
Only for the memory

Silently we wander
Into this void of consequence
My shade will always haunt her
But she will be my guiding light

Silently we wander
In search of truth and confidence
So many hopes were lost here
Along the way from morning to night

From ashes we were born
In silence we unite

Silently we wander
Into this void of consequence
My shade will always haunt her
But she will be my guiding light

Silently we wander
In search of truth and confidence
So many hopes were lost here
Along the way from morning to night

Silently we wander
Into this void of consequence
My shade will always haunt her
But she will be my guiding light

Silently we wander
In search of truth and confidence
So many hopes were lost here
Along the wa-a-a-a-ay…

And it never leaves…
It never leaves…

She waits… For him to show up, for that face to leave the dream into her reality. She waits, and though it gets harder with time, she enjoys it for she knows what comes next is worth it… is worth all the waiting. She knows that his presence fills in all voids. His presence in her life is so vivid, so solid, so passionate that it fills whatever emptiness she’s ever felt. It brings her to life and adds some meaning to the coldness she once lived in.

She closes her eyes, and drowns into the vortex of her own dreams; of him. Slowly she builds pictures on her own… Pictures of what she thinks shaould lay ahead, or at least, what she hopes could possible lay before her. And she waits… She can do nothing but enjoy, either the memories, or the beauty that lays ahead, or maybe both.

Yet in all cases, he never leaves…
He’s always there to trigger something she’s always held deep and intact within her… He’s always there to bring her to life…

And his pretty face never leaves,
it never leaves.

This world is slowly crumbling over our heads, what was made to be on our side is now drifting against us. Or is it that we’re simply turning against our own selves? The world we live in was never that confusing, at least not to me. But is it really the world, or is it just us? We’ve lost a sense of purpose and things have become so interconnected and interlinked, so vague and obscure that we fail to tell where is the edge. Borders are disappearing, and we’re just left tracing their fading lines. And in such a  mesh, where do we stand?

It’s not a trial of personal assessment as much as it is an attempt of a worldly evaluation. I guess. But it shouldn’t really make that much of a difference. We run this world, and it’s us behind all that, isn’t it? We run our lives, and after all it’s us again in charge.

We weren’t really created only to live a one-trial of meaningless confusion, were we? We were created, and along with us, came the confusion and misery. Is it just the meant-to-be or is it just us? or maybe both?
Absent minded? Probably…

There is a world once beautiful that we’re bringing down. There are lives that we’re bringing to an end, and there are people that we’re tearing apart. There is ‘ourselves’ that we no longer understand… And I still wonder, why?
Along with us, came the principles for our survival, ones that we replaced with a miserable bulk we thought would turn our lives better. So is it really serving us best? Now that we can no longer draw lines, can we at least tell what these principles are? or should I say, were? can we at least refer back to them? can we at least remember?? I hold no answer for it is simply part of the confusion…

It seems like we’ve finally painted a solid picture to the middle of nowhere…

They never saw it coming, they never knew…

And whose fault is it that they never knew? Is it the protocol? The culture? Or is it merely themselves? Is it that they actually knew but chose the shortcut of ignorance and took it for granted?

I don’t know.

And I still ask myself the same question, only to find my answer in it’s echo; why?

Death is only the start; of the hereafter in one way, and of our chain of realizations in another. Our understanding that it really mattered to us, our regret that we never got to show that, that we always hid behind a silly mask of distant ignorant.

Death puts an end to it all… But sometimes it could rather bring some of our consciousness to life. Yes it brings them all to a finite end, and a start of an unknown, but some things do last even in death. Feelings never die, they carry on with us, to wherever they are. Memories? maybe… But it’s not only that. There’s something about it, something that does really last a lifetime and forever. And that’s only because it was true, pure and honest.

I could die at anytime. Here, there, anywhere. Any day could be my last. And I realized; I should prepare for that. I realized I needed to please two: My God, and those I love and love me back.
Death is everywhere around us, and we’re all on the waiting list. I don’t know when, but I know it’s certain. I don’t want to look back and regret a wasted life. I don’t want to regret a moment of ignorance, a moment of uncertainty, a moment of disguise.
I don’t want to end up in sore words of  “if only…” .

“If Only…” hurts. And I don’t want it to hurt me, or the ones I love.

Too little too late is not an option. What I feel is exactly what I should say. Why should I waste my life and living hiding behind the shadows of assumptions, and leaving people in the maze of it’s confusion?
Straight forward is how it should be, and how it will be.

The ones I love should know it, and believe it. The ones I hate, if supposedly any, should understand it. Some do need appreciation, and if now isn’t the time to show it, then when is?

Death puts it all to an end, but it never takes away the happiness we felt, the memories we built and the love we all shared. Death puts all to an end, but never love, never honesty, never truth.

So if I pass away, remember that I loved you with all my heart. Remember that I loved life. Remember that I loved happiness. The world we live in is a hypocrite, but we aren’t. So keep that in mind.

I know it’s weird am writing this, but it’s stuck in my mind; what if the time is now? Am I ready… For a goodbye and the hello?

Either way, there’s a message unveiled, regardless of the source, regardless of the reason, so don’t overlook them. Enjoy them in your dreams then wake up to understand them. Sometimes all you need is just a dream to offer you all the reassurance you’ve always looked for.

Sometimes so vague, yet always so powerful! Dreams are the omens within ourselves, make use of them.

And when the former fails to be materialized, we soon realize perfection is rather a state of “Emotional” well-being.One that is sustained so easily, so beautifully. And later evolves into an exotic mixture of satisfaction, content and happiness. Not everyone recognize that. Not everyone manage to witness and  hold on to the perfection all around them. Sad. No wonder they’re never just as happy.

Perfection is a variable, thus left untitled. What it stands for differs and so is what brings it to life.

Just a little brings it out. It’s not how much, it’s how good.  And there’s always this one person who’s just  too good. It’s not what literally defines perfection, it’s just how you see it, and how you manage to find a way to label it nothing but perfect!

Sometimes Perfection isn’t really good enough, for you’ve come across something even better. Someone that puts you in an even better state of well being, that no word possibly beholds a proper meaning for the ecstatic surge of happiness you’re life has suddenly turned into.

One might then choose to go quiet, to tap into a beautiful note of silence and enjoy the company of the one person who adds some meaning to life. You now know you’re safe, you’re peaceful and happy… You’re now complete and actually alive. And that’s when you figure out your own definition for perfection…

You.

My unexplained meaning of perfection. No. Probably a rather lengthy explanation.  A fine mixture of everything so good, everything so perfect! A figure that brings serenity into life, one that brings along all the hope and peace one might possibly need. Such an existence is a blessing, and such a presence offers the best reassurance.

My habit, you’ve become. One that’s never easy to either let go or get over. You’re there, and that’s all what matters. A feeling of safety hovers; both physically and emotionally.

For a moment, insecurity aches and makes one’s brain wonder…

It’s fear that all of this might crumble down… But even if it was  just a fantasy, one can’t help but to enjoy the beauty of it.

You’ve brought perfection into life.