Archive for March, 2009

Not so easy to let go??

Posted: March 29, 2009 in Uncategorized
Some times it’s too difficult to give up on this one thing that , one day, meant everything to you. You’ve been waiting for so long untill it’s getting pretty hopeless. It’s getting nowhere. You’re haunted by it’s memory, sweet memory. You know it’s going to take you a whole lot of effort and pain to let go of it, but it’s just about time to do it. This long await isn’t doing you any good. It’s not what you want, not at all, but sometimes we need to think wise, and take this one specific decision in our lives for the second time. You can’t tell wheather or not it was the right thing to do, but you’re going to have to go for intentions. It’s the same reason that made you go for it, and stick to it for a while, that is making you give up on it at the moment. There’s no other choice is there?? You’ve had enough of waiting, waiting for a day that never comes, and apparently it never will. It’s time to move on, away from that diversion. It’s hard, but it’s worth it. You can’t predict either outcomes. You just have to do the right thing. It hurts, the uncertainity is making it difficult, but this going to save you any further pain. It’s time you put emotions aside, and focus on the logical part of it. Afterall, seems like you didn’t completely give up on that tiny bit of sense you had. It’s going to take you some time to move on and get over with it, but that ‘time span’ is going to be over anyhow, won’t it?
You might have no clue what I’m talking about, but If you know me in person, you might understand. It was awesome, amazingly awesome. It still is, and it will always be. I think it’s better that way…We’re better off that way… Much easier. Happy now?? 🙂

Today was awesome!!

Posted: March 28, 2009 in Uncategorized
Apart from not getting the phone call I’d waited for, today was off the hook! It’s pretty weird, as it was mainly about that exam we had, but that’s it! This weirdness is what made it fun! The tension, stress, fun, excitement, giggles and laughters, everything went so natural, so special.

By 8 am, I was at school, getting ready to head off to the British Council, where we had our English orals. The bus was tiny, but we managed. We called our mummies, asked them to wish us luck as most of us has got exam nerves! It wasn’t long untill we reached. Tadaaaaaaa, here we are.

It wasn’t my first time to go there, looked pretty familiar. I was really hyper. So were two of my closest friends! We went into the classroom, got our statements of entry, and waited… kept waiting…then waited a bit more…THIS WAS TAKING FOREVER!! There was only one examiner for the 25 of us. Each candidate would be called every now and then to go to the room next doors for her exam.

It’d been a couple of hours and we weren’t done yet. We would check our mobile phones if there were any missed calls, messages, anything what-so-ever, and it depends… My one intended recepient was broke, and apparently forgot to top up before hand so that he’d call! grrr
Who cares! Anyway, It was Sara’s turn!! A while later, it was Emmy’s! When is mine?? Naah, it was a long way to go! As we waited, we played nearly everything, and even invented a few more!
We had our share of drinks from the cafeteria, juices, coffees and a lot more.

It’d been 7 hours! Yes 7 whole hours!! As we waited, we were getting less and less untill there were only 6 of us remaining. Atlast, my turn! Getting tense ayyy. The door was opening, she was out, I had to go in…Here I am, face to face with the examiner. It went pretty well! I got a perfect topic- Music! I had so much to talk about. Duuuh coming from a biased metalhead lol
At times, the examiner would nod her head and seem quite interested in what I was saying, and some other times, she’d just give u this face expression as if she had no idea what the hell I was saying! I don’t know if that was part of the exam, to test my nerves, or if she really had no clue what I was talking about, but eitherway we got along easily, and Phew, my 10 minutes were over!

I went out, winked at my friend, then ran to that bunch of girls who were done with their exam since ages but were waiting for my majesty! 😛 Now, FEEDBACK! Most of us did really well, technically all of us!! By then, we were nothing but hungry and what’s better than an English breakfast (at lunchtime) after a long tiring day??

By the time I went home, I was both physically and mentally exhausted! I could do nothing but SLEEEEEEEEEEP! ZzZzZzZz
Thank God, it went quite well. I hope it goes as great with the next ones too!!

And the countdown starts…

Posted: March 26, 2009 in Uncategorized

My first official IG exam is in two days. Yup. Ready?? I guess! It’s all about nerves, I need to keep cool and everything is going to turn out great. Hopefully. Another experience to go through… It’s time for some serious study lockdown!! Don’t expect me to blog as much for the next two months.
Wish myself and all my mates the best of luck with it!!

Three in a Row !!

Posted: March 24, 2009 in Uncategorized
Haven’t I told you I love the number ‘3’ !! We’re 3 besties each with 3 secrets. 3 minutes was how long I’d first talked to person X on March 23rd and tomorrow will be my 3rd phone call! What’s funny is, the three of us found out about each of her so-called ‘moderate attraction’ in the same time. It’s simply amazing how much we share in common!

A simple view of a typical day at school:

Mobiles in our pockets, every now and then we sneak behind the teacher’s back to check for any new missed call or message. We wait for update. A wink, giggle, or a smilie is an affirmative, a sad face means nothing new. Free session?? Great! We get to gather in that back corner of the class, and keep talking forever. We’ve just got so much to say about loads of stuff!! Classmates are ear dropping, we know that, but do they get to understand anything? I doubt, haha.

Now comes the special part- home time. Mobiles are officially on and that’s when we get to do our privilaged phonecalls, rarely thou, then hang around in the basketball court.
These days are just awesome. I hope they last forever, I really do !!

To the Unknown You…

Posted: March 22, 2009 in Uncategorized
I’ve been trying hard, really hard, not to fall for you. I tried to hold on to that last tiny bit of logic in my mind but I give up. I’m going to let go of it and fall in that tiny pit of love, your tiny pit of love.
Atlast, I’ve got round to realizing it, to witnessing every tiny detail of it which I’d overlooked previously. I was blinded by what I’d input into my brain, but I am no longer.

Where have you gone? I scroll down my contact list, I see your name, but I can’t press dial. I wait for you, but you’re never there, you never show up! I keep waiting for any reply what so ever but is there any??

Right now I don’t know where I exactly stand. I lie down, sleepless, wondering wheather you were thinking about me, as much as I am right now. I’m starting to have doubts, I don’t want to hurt you when you’ve been nothing but desperate and faithful to me, but in the same time I don’t want to get hurt. I won’t deny that I’m afraid of going for it, but now is your chance to prove me wrong. Please do prove me wrong! It’s your call for once you do, I’ll never let go of you, I’ll keep holding on to it.
I’m left with nothing but overthinking, and it leaves me even more confused and helpless!

I don’t want you to be super-cool, it’s enough I’m the super-cool part of your life! Now is your chance to win me, to have me, so make it fast and save me… I’m waiting, so are you. I don’t want to be missing out on anything anymore. I’m still waiting, I hope it doesn’t take you forever…

From a puzzled me.

Happy Mothers’ Day, Mummy!

Posted: March 21, 2009 in Uncategorized
Mum, these words I write aren’t enough to tell you how much I adore you for always being there for me, being my confidante, being the person I can trust the most, and simply being my mum!

Anything is so tiny compared to your sacrifice and support. Any reward would be nothing but minute to actually represent how much I love you.

It’s your 19th mothers’ day celebrations. Throughout the years we’ve been giving you cards, flowers, portraits, fluffy teddybears, and we still do. I really wanted to something more, more than just blowing balloons and kissing your blushing cheecks! A song isn’t enough, and a the hug, I always do that! The thing is, I can’t stop being the child I am. No matter how old I grow, I’ll always be your little girl.

I’m literally out of words, I don’t know what to say. I could go on forever, repeating how much I love you, and still, that wouldn’t be good enough! Yet, I feel the urge to…

And the list piles up…

Posted: March 18, 2009 in Uncategorized
Grrr… Too much going on in my mind. Everything is being so vague lately, so blurry and unexplainable! I know I’ve got too much stuff to do but am I ready to go for any?? Nope, not at all!
I’m literally exhausted!
Here’s a scene of the room I’m in. My books stacked on the sofa, folders, binders, booklets, copybooks and papers scattered all over the room. Pens, pencils and an entire stationery has covered that table. Now, my desk. Staplers, notecards and a paper puncher rise on top of theses scattered annotated sheets. My pencil case is empty, all what was supposed to be inside it is no longer there. I’ve used the pens as bookmarks, and the rest are lost. On top of all this obviously unorganized pile, I’ve placed my laptop. Right next to it are all the mugs I’ve been drinking in. Tea, Nescafe, juice or simply water.
Now, do I have time to get this room gutted? Of course not! I’m a busy woman! (ohyh) In the middle of everything, my mobile phone rings, to spend another 15 minutes blabbing and gossiping with my bestie. Then we’re out of words. We hang up.
I miss playing guitar. I go get it from there, but where’s my pick?? Grrr, well it’s got to be somewhere. Oh there it is! Now, I turn my amplifier on, and to my bad luck, the cable is not working! I guess I’ll have to cope with a mute guitar for the time being! Ahh!
There’s nothing on TV, all movies are boring, everything is so plain and tasteless. I turn it off.
What’s left out there to be done?? Hmmm…I’m sleepy!! I turn on the AC, snuggle my teddybear (yes I still sleep with teddybears :$) and stretch under these crispy white sheets.
What a busy day, haha !