Diary entry of crazy, hectic me!

Posted: August 28, 2009 in Emotions, hope, Love, Randoms

When life unveils its crappiest sides, we get to find some tiny little things that we hold on to with every ounce of energy we’ve got. They provide us with the hope we need, support us, and give us the strength to move on. But what if these tiny little things are suddenly not there? They’re just gone for no good reason! Turns out that nothing makes sense afterall, Nothing!
what’s even worse, is when they’re there but at the same time they’re not! Again, doesn’t make sense. Definitely not! I myself don’t get it. I wouldn’t be writing this if it had any tiny bit of sense!

Now what? Dream? Or shall you say lie to yourself that everything is going to be alright afterall when infact nothing is going to!?
Sometimes life separates us from those whom we truly love with all our hearts. That might be for the moment…Temporarily… Or even forever… By then, what’s left for us to hold on to?? Memories?? I keep saying memories are enough, but no they’re not.

We soon realize it’s way beyond our power to overcome such incidents. We’re so helpless by then. Missing that one person who was the bright part of your life isn’t doing you any good either!

But what if this is the one and only thing you can do for the time being. Yes you thought there was nothing to grip  when there actually was! It’s rather nostalgic yet brings you back to your weird circle of optimisim.

It breaks your heart. You know that very well. But you keep repeating the same question: “Now what??” Are you just gonna give up and fall for that helplessness in you? Or atleast the helplessness that life has put in you from all what you’ve been through? What good will crying bring? Pretty much nothing.
Yes it’s okay to cry, we all weep our hearts out!! But let’s not make that take us forever.

(Why am I using the 2nd narrative mostly throughout  ??)
This sudden mess has made me realize how I’ve always loved you. Truly, madly and deeply… For the gazzilion time, I go through your pictures, our everything! And keep waiting like I did for so long. I just understood why patience is a virtue. And to wait for what seems like forever hurts.
Yet, in such cases, I tend to take a step backwards and let you play the game your way.
I trust you. I believe in you. And that leaves me with nothing but loving you like crazy!
To my sweetheart, I miss you in all possible ways, in all measures!
I know you’ve never meant to keep me waiting for so long, but that’s what’s seemingly happening. I am certain it’s worth the wait, I don’t know what to expect exactly but I’m expecting something for sure. The good days will be back, but ‘when’ is part of the challenge. I haven’t lost hope yet, and never will…

It’s funny. Ironic actually… Afterall, after every word I’ve written up here, or actually typed, (which btw I don’t know how!!) a part of me is still happy and glad…
With all the crap going on lately, regardless of what was the reason behind it, I’m still feeling secure, peaceful, and merely thankful for everything. Is that what they call content??


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