Archive for October, 2009

Why has everything turned out to be so disappointing? Thought it was just going fine, really fine! Not anymore. Seems like this peacefully pink world of mine has suddenly collapsed and am back into reality.  One which I’m trying to convince myself untill this very moment that it can’t be true. There’s just something wrong about it! When was anything going the right way anyway? I’ve taken myself too high where dreams seemed true, even higher where all what stands for negativity, pain and sorrow never existed! That just made the descend even worse. Horrible. I’m back where these 3 I seemed to be trying so hard to escape existed! I’m back into reality. Corrupted.

All what was so magically beautiful is now gone. Out of nowhere. Into the blue. Simply too much to handle. “Simply”? Guess nothing is so simple in this world we live in. For a moment, I was alone, all by myself, trapped in a swiftly changing surrounding where nothing ever lasts. I paused for a moment to witness the faces around me unmasked. Everything seemed so painfully demeaning, untrue, and fake which pushed me into the confusion of what exactly am I supposed to go for? Who to believe if nothing is actually what it is?

I get it! That’s what you referr to as the truth! The bitter one. But was it ever anything but bitter? And why does it have to be this way? Kindness we offer is recognized as naivity. Openness is taken as being shallow, and honesty symobilzed stupidity! Too late. These were principles I should’ve understood way earlier. It’s just about time to accept the fact that there’s no propper explanation to these too many “whys” going on in your mind. You just had to go through all of this crap to come to this realization and actually comprehend it! Applause, You successfully did.

I’m never that weak but such weakness develops the solid strength that is yet to come. That’s if it hadn’t already.  The cut is deep. But it shall heal! And the next step to take is entirely up to me! It’s a turnover. One which should’ve taken place a while ago. But like always, I never have regrets. No worries, revenge can never make it’s way through my heart.

Sigh. I’m speechless. You’ve become a mystery to me. One which I sadly cannot resolve anymore for everytime I do it gets even more complicated. Seems like the more we know the more we get hurt. Confusion hurts. Not understanding hurts. Disappearance hurts. The more you remember the more painful it gets! It’s just that this whole bunch of it is killing me…

Scorpio. I miss you. Where the hell have you been so long? Apparently it’s not only me. What have you rejected this world for? Where have you escaped? Wasn’t that a two players game??  Patience is holding me back from concluding whatever possible assumptions (which do make sense by the way) but till when? Why don’t you just put an end to this. Either come back or let go of me, but don’t leave me all in the middle of nowhere! Don’t let your unexplainable, mysterious disappearance push me to taking a decision none of us would like.

Define forever. Maybe once you do you might realize it’s taking you way much longer than it should! I know there’s no point of writing all of this, but I just need to bluff this somewhere. I’ve been running into mummy’s arms lately. Just like babies. It just feels so warm. So peaceful. It just feels so good. Atleast I’ve found somewhere I belong. Here I am without you…

The James fund is one which is dedicated to the research of the fatal cancer of the central nervous system that affects childern, in other words – Neuroblastoma. This November, 1/11, will be the walk/run to raise donations for the research to find out new treatment and medications. Based in the town, Peterborough Ontario, and gaining a worldwide awareness, it has so far raised $3 million dollars.

For more information, visit the Sponsor page, or surf the website Jamesfund.ca

It just makes me feel terrible knowing how much these poor little ones have to go through, and suffer ! I really hope they get better soon…

You’re strong, You can make it !!!

If I were a substitute of ‘x’ then my ambition would be ‘x’ raised to the power of infinity, and my potential would be derived from the indifinite integral of ‘x‘ exponent infinity i.e. no limits.  Given that ‘x’ could vary, there’s an equally likely chances of positive and negative values. I am however, a straight line of a positive gradient. That’s why I’m called: Ms Glass half-full 🙂  

My life is an unidentified, irregular polygon. One which could be demonstrated in any of the previosuly known dimentions. 3D, 4D? Possible…

Taking into concideration the general quadratic equation: y=ax^2 + bx + c I can verify that, a is my strength, b is my passion and c is what’s on my mind, all together gives us a y value, or I should say, an R value !  Yes, I’m a curve with no inverse: I manage a life with no regrets. Yet, I’m a one – to – one function. For every value of x, there’s a definite, genuine value of y. AKA Never underestimate a female like me, always expect something in return. My Proof through Newtons law – For every action of yours, good or bad, there’s an equal, opposite reaction in return. Keep that in mind 😛

Phew, and I thought I suck in Maths!! I think that by now you take me as a freak, right? lol Well, I just got over with my first AS Exam, that’s why. You know, still under the impact.

Anyway, here’s a pretty relevant video I came across on our one and only YouTube. Guess that’s the way I’ll be teaching my kids in the future 😀

 

[This was meant to be posted a few days ago, but again I was facing troubles logging in to my dashboard]

That’s always the case with the nights before day-1 at school. I’m sleepless. I spin around this messy bed of mine, from one side to the other, hoping I could catch some sleep just before it’s time to dressup and head off to school. I kept stealing a few glimpses at my mobile phone to check the time, and woah, it flew. It was 3 45 am already! That was when I decided there’s no use of forcing myself to sleep. I got up, bugged mum for a while (yeah she was awake too lol ) then switched my laptop on, planning to spend the remaining time blogging. Too bad, there were connection problems and I was having troubles logging in. Facebook was good enough for then.

This time I wasnt only sleepless, I had loads of stuff in mind. Yes, the over-thinking I usually do was pretty much a good reason for keeping me awake. It wasn’t out of nothing. That evening wasn’t like any other. Actually the whole weekend was weird! A whole lot of stuff happened regarding this very personal issue of mine, and I needed some time to evaluate what just happened.

 I remember talking to myself, loud enough, saying:

 Now what the hell is going on? I have no clue wheather that was a good thing, or a bad one! Yes, we got back in touch!! But that wasn’t the way I wanted things to go. The way this very last conversation bluntly went was just wrong! It seemed like 2 different people speaking… Grrr… *Sigh* … Yes I had to show you that I wasn’t really happy with what you did, and I guess it showed. DO you know why? Do you know why that was ticking me off?? Because I love you, you idiot!!! I FRIKING DO ! Now what? I personally dont want to keep this grumpy tone going. Things shouldn’t be this way! Not at all. Pffft …

See, you were such a bummer. That left me no choice but to act like one aswell! Guess what? It makes me feel just as bad as you do!… Ugggh!! I just don’t get it. What’s keeping us apart??

(This seemed like it was going forever! I spent the whole night thinking of a way to work things out the right way. I guess I came up with something. Well, that still depends on what you’ll be doing next I should say… )

Whatever!

 Back to Day -1 of school. Things went pretty well. Infact, awesome! First weeks are always awesome.

3 15 am, television coverage starts to capture the awaited search of  ice-water on the moon. This will be done through hitting a crater near the lunar south pole, Cabeus crater, by the LCROSS (a sensing satellite) and a rocket’s upper stage four minutes apart, as stated by NASA, at approximately 4:30 a.m. and 4:34 a.m.

If water ice was to be found, it’ll be a perfect lead to the begining of a chance to possibly living on the moon. For the time being, all we can do is wait and see.

For more information, check the NASA website.

It’s the day we, Egyptians, freed our lands 36 years ago and took them back! The land that was taken over since 1967 – The Six-Day War. October 6 war actually lasted 20 days, from 6/10 till 26/10. It’s the triumph, the victory, our victory!  Yes, I’m Egyptian and I’m proud! October 6, Armed Forces Day, is a national holiday in Egypt. It’s now time to celebrate our timeless success!!