Sleeplessness at 4 am

Posted: October 11, 2009 in Days and dates, Emotions, evaluation, Love, Randoms, Weirdness

[This was meant to be posted a few days ago, but again I was facing troubles logging in to my dashboard]

That’s always the case with the nights before day-1 at school. I’m sleepless. I spin around this messy bed of mine, from one side to the other, hoping I could catch some sleep just before it’s time to dressup and head off to school. I kept stealing a few glimpses at my mobile phone to check the time, and woah, it flew. It was 3 45 am already! That was when I decided there’s no use of forcing myself to sleep. I got up, bugged mum for a while (yeah she was awake too lol ) then switched my laptop on, planning to spend the remaining time blogging. Too bad, there were connection problems and I was having troubles logging in. Facebook was good enough for then.

This time I wasnt only sleepless, I had loads of stuff in mind. Yes, the over-thinking I usually do was pretty much a good reason for keeping me awake. It wasn’t out of nothing. That evening wasn’t like any other. Actually the whole weekend was weird! A whole lot of stuff happened regarding this very personal issue of mine, and I needed some time to evaluate what just happened.

 I remember talking to myself, loud enough, saying:

 Now what the hell is going on? I have no clue wheather that was a good thing, or a bad one! Yes, we got back in touch!! But that wasn’t the way I wanted things to go. The way this very last conversation bluntly went was just wrong! It seemed like 2 different people speaking… Grrr… *Sigh* … Yes I had to show you that I wasn’t really happy with what you did, and I guess it showed. DO you know why? Do you know why that was ticking me off?? Because I love you, you idiot!!! I FRIKING DO ! Now what? I personally dont want to keep this grumpy tone going. Things shouldn’t be this way! Not at all. Pffft …

See, you were such a bummer. That left me no choice but to act like one aswell! Guess what? It makes me feel just as bad as you do!… Ugggh!! I just don’t get it. What’s keeping us apart??

(This seemed like it was going forever! I spent the whole night thinking of a way to work things out the right way. I guess I came up with something. Well, that still depends on what you’ll be doing next I should say… )


 Back to Day -1 of school. Things went pretty well. Infact, awesome! First weeks are always awesome.


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