Too shocked to experience anything but sorrow!

Posted: October 25, 2009 in Emotions, evaluation, hope, Memories, Music, Randoms, Weirdness

Why has everything turned out to be so disappointing? Thought it was just going fine, really fine! Not anymore. Seems like this peacefully pink world of mine has suddenly collapsed and am back into reality.  One which I’m trying to convince myself untill this very moment that it can’t be true. There’s just something wrong about it! When was anything going the right way anyway? I’ve taken myself too high where dreams seemed true, even higher where all what stands for negativity, pain and sorrow never existed! That just made the descend even worse. Horrible. I’m back where these 3 I seemed to be trying so hard to escape existed! I’m back into reality. Corrupted.

All what was so magically beautiful is now gone. Out of nowhere. Into the blue. Simply too much to handle. “Simply”? Guess nothing is so simple in this world we live in. For a moment, I was alone, all by myself, trapped in a swiftly changing surrounding where nothing ever lasts. I paused for a moment to witness the faces around me unmasked. Everything seemed so painfully demeaning, untrue, and fake which pushed me into the confusion of what exactly am I supposed to go for? Who to believe if nothing is actually what it is?

I get it! That’s what you referr to as the truth! The bitter one. But was it ever anything but bitter? And why does it have to be this way? Kindness we offer is recognized as naivity. Openness is taken as being shallow, and honesty symobilzed stupidity! Too late. These were principles I should’ve understood way earlier. It’s just about time to accept the fact that there’s no propper explanation to these too many “whys” going on in your mind. You just had to go through all of this crap to come to this realization and actually comprehend it! Applause, You successfully did.

I’m never that weak but such weakness develops the solid strength that is yet to come. That’s if it hadn’t already.  The cut is deep. But it shall heal! And the next step to take is entirely up to me! It’s a turnover. One which should’ve taken place a while ago. But like always, I never have regrets. No worries, revenge can never make it’s way through my heart.


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