Storyline: Far beyond the reflection

Posted: January 13, 2011 in communication, Emotions, evaluation, happiness, hope, Love, Memories

” Wake up. Get up! ” She tells herself. She knows she has to, but why would she? She doesn’t want to tap into the same silly routine, but there’s no other choice. She lays there under her cold blanket, staring at a blank ceiling. It’s sunrise. Light soon penetrates her curtains into scattered streaks that dimly light up the room. She sits up, yawns, then stretches. She gets off, moves towards the door, but is stopped to stare at the mirror. She looks at her blank face, expressionless. Her eyes roll over the edges of her reflection. She rubs her bloodshot eyes, moves her cold shivering fingers across her swollen lids, down her pale rounded cheeks and sliding off her chin. She stands there, feeling all her energies escaping her, and still gazing back at the floating existence right in front of her. It’s not herself she’s looking at anymore…

She lives in a world that makes no sense, around people lacking principles; A bunch of hypocrites. The void in her only grows bigger. She’s not empty, she’s only blank. Her heart can feel nothing towards anyone anymore. She’s dead inside. She’s wondering, why isn’t she bothered anymore? Nothing seems to matter, no one seems worth giving a damn about… They’re all pathetic liars…

She moves a step forward towards the mirror, towards her blank significance, and looks closer… Deeper. She fetches herself, and her heart, for the tiniest bits of emotions. She finds none. Seems like she’s sealed whatever feelings still alive in her, locked them up somewhere safe, somewhere far beyond the reach of anyone. They are not to be revealed, they are not to be brought to life.  Her emotions have faded within her and she just can’t do anything about it; she won’t! Being nice did her no good. In fact, she was too nice to the extend she seemed naive! From now on, she doesn’t care who she’s going to hurt on the way as long as it’s not her who’s hurting.  Mean and blunt, is what she is to be. Nice never works, and too nice has killed her.

She’s stoned in front of the mirror. She’s no longer gazing at herself out there, she’s only drowning into what that image reminds her of. She’s never hated who she was, who she really is… But now, at this very moment, she hates being the kind person she is; the person she was. That’s when stepping back into memories is a move forward. That’s when she slips back into a thought of the past with some sort of regret, and that’s when she decides all of this has to change… If that already hadn’t happened. She doesn’t see the world as a scene of disgust, but rather sees the people themselves disgusting. Twisted, two-faced self-centered hypocrites. Yup, as simple as that!

Their lies has made her world crash. Smart liars. Her logic is now reprogrammed. Love is a myth, goodness is a fairytale, and happy endings are fantasies she no longer believes in. Career is her one and only focus.  She smiles, and her solid reflection smiles back at her. She likes it this way: safe and shielded, peaceful and happy. The old her is laid to rest. She’s  wearing the same mask everyone else wears, but she isn’t turning into a hypocrite. She’s only building her barrier of safety, her borders to savor what she holds inside.

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Comments
  1. raghda1993 says:

    I absolutely luv it!! and i think it is unfortunately so true!!

  2. Rana says:

    Thankyouuuu babe! yeh, it’s sad..

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