Flashback at the bus station…

Posted: July 28, 2011 in Days and dates, Emotions, evaluation, happiness, Memories, Randoms, Weirdness

It’s crowded with people… From everywhere, going somewhere, off to nowhere. My bus is delayed… Just like always. So I sit back and wait as my mind draws me I to another vortex of thought…
What things have turned out to be is a climax I hate. I know that’s not all… More is yet to come, and am not sure if I’m up for that either. Things just pile up, just shoot me one after the other and I’m out there enjoying the unexpected I’m living… Not quite sure if “enjoying” is the perfect term, but it’s just a part of me that refuses to present such an “unhappy” attitude towards life… For even if I am I manage to stretch an elastic smile wide up to it’s elastic limit. Disturbed much?? Well who isn’t? 
This year has left me exhausted! I’m not the same person I was before I moved in overhere. I haven’t really changed to the worst, but not to the best either… There was a point where I was left confused , not knowing what is it that I’m exactly doing or heading to or even looking for. I  couldn’t really pin point where exactly do I stand… And this was such a mental stress for me, because it seemed as though I was undefined when who I am refuses being in such mental disturbia. It never felt okay, never felt right until I decided I had to restore some sort of balance to this so-called life of mine. I refuse to be a mess, and if that was the only choice then an organized mess is what I should be. All choices have left me empty and none of the presented ones suited me best. I had to come up with my own.  And it was simple… I had to understand that person called “me”. I had to explain myself to myself, And only then I could establish the equilibrium between mind and heart. 
What I am at the moment is someone am perfectly happy with… Strong and reserved… 
This year has pushed me to meeting weird people, loads of them… My circle of friends suddenly bursted… A lot weren’t good enough, a lot pushed themselves away, a lot kept a distance for reasons I respect… And amongst these is someone I really miss, someone I don’t really care about anymore and only a very few that managed to stay as close as possible… And these are the only ones that really matter at the moment…
I’m happy…and I mean it. What I learnt was worth what I’ve been through. Fair enough…
So everytime I look back to my overloaded memories, I couldn’t careless about what things could’ve turned out… The way things are at the moment is a climax I no longer dislike…

  1. WOW, this is really inspired. i mean, all of us go thru moments of retrospect but few are those hu are able to write it down with such honestly and such details. this is really a work of art, might still be rough and in need of some grammatical changes, but still WOW. *cue: applause*

  2. Rana says:

    Baybeeeeeh ❤ thankyou!! Much appreciated 😉

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