Archive for June, 2012

Sometimes we choose not to understand because we know reasoning is not what we want, for it might mark our arguments false, might prove our logic mislead…. Might cease the one thing keeping our hearts beating- feelings.

Feelings. Vibrant as they are, Wild with passion, soothing with truth and honesty. Yet, unexplained they remain rather growing in confusion. The best of them lack reasoning for reasoning puts down their fire. Reasoning takes away the edge of beauty that adorns them.

Mind and heart collide in conflicts under the name of logic and sense. An equilibrium that can never be restored. Never really established in the first place to be restored then. So, sense, what is it? Who sets it’s margins? What is further and beyond? Is it what you have to abide by or what you rather choose to believe as righteous?
Sense doesn’t make sense For Who has the power to decide on weather or not one thing makes sense but yourself?

Am I even making any sense? And if I’m not, why should I even care?
I don’t know if I’m choosing not to understand or I really don’t understand. I’m not quite sure if it’s even about understanding, really.

All I know is that even if logic fails me, even if sense escapes all my arguments, I’ll still be in favor of what I feel within. Feelings are precious regardless of the reasoning behind them. If reasoning would take away what or how I feel then I don’t want any of it.

My heart is what makes sense.

Hold on to what you feel. Bring it to life, speak of it, express it; in words, in melodies… In all what you know and with all what you can.

Shame is when you let it die.
Shame is when you give up on them, because no reasoning would make a good excuse for that.


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It’s been two consecutive days now, and I can’t stop listening to them; one of my all time favorite Progressive Metal bands! Okay, let’s get this straight Porcupine Tree, Opeth and Dream Theater have got a special place reserved in both my heart and library, if not contribute to around 70% of my playlist.

But THIS, Circus Maximus, is fucking amazing! Exactly what I needed to listen to…
My mind is stuck on replay.

I assumed that you knew the reason why
And you know that there should be someone there to hold you in my arms tonight
Maybe you will know the reason why
But for now you’ll move on alone, I belive in you…
Yeah, I believe in you!

It’s got to be…
It’s got to be forever
Thought I had nothing to lose…

I see through words, I read images, and decode sentences into vivid illustrations. And you… You speak words that make perfect sense. Ones that reflect bits of the well-grounded logic of your mind. And I keep wondering, what is it like to be in your mind… And on it? What is it like in there? An organized mess, just like mine? One that only yourself can gain access to? What if… What if I struggle on an attempt to make it through, into the gates of your logic? What are my chances, if any? Probability. It’s all about that, isn’t it?

A mentality that thrilled me before even tapping into it. Sedating; with logic and reasoning. It has always been, and it still maintains that sharp edge of sense to it where sense seems to never exist anymore, where sense seems to have abolished all minds, all words, all reasoning… Apart from yours.

Speak. Your words are living melodies. Speak. Your logic brings me to life.

Your logic puts my mind at ease.

Soothing is your mind. At ease it keeps mine. Because even in confusion, even in mental turmoil and inner conflict , it makes perfect sense. I still wonder, what are my chances of having more than just a glimpse, more than just a peek behind your words? Behind the shadows of your logic, is a framed creation of moderate reasoning and sentiments… Behind the shadows of logic, I still peek.


Posted: June 29, 2012 in Emotions, evaluation, Love, Memories, Music, Randoms, Weirdness

I close my eyes only to see yours staring back. A perfect mesh of hazle-green.  Still vibrant with words you never spoke.  Still embracing the feelings you never showed. My gateway. My confidante.

Your eyes were signs that lead me throughout. Your eyes spoke truth, your eyes spoke love, your eyes kept me safe when I need to, reassured me into peace and serenity. I searched the world for them and into them. And Now… Now I escape them, run away, hide their embrace, unleash myself from their possession.

Your eyes spoke truth; bailing out on the feelings you decided to give up on. Your eyes lead me, this time away. Still vibrant, yet in confusion and rather embracing rejection. Gone, I was.

Blank. Blank eyes staring at a blank existence.

Vacant. Vacant I was.

A long time it has been. Long enough to erase the memory, to erase their floating image in my head. Long enough to forget. And now, what brings them up? So clear and bright? Remembrance? Or rather Shame, Shame I had forgotten.

In ache, I remembered.
In peace, I have forgotten… These eyes.

I know there’s something you wanna say
You close the door at night
You make me go away
I try to make you remember… belief is all you need


Posted: June 29, 2012 in Emotions, evaluation, Life, Music, Randoms, Spirituality, Weirdness


Why?I keep asking myself as I look around the wreck our world has turned into.

Injustice, everywhere. Everywhere! And it’s not just enough to know you’re against it, to reject it deep down within. We’re not weak. We’re not fragile. It’s injustice all around us that makes us believe so, that puts us down, that eats away our dignity, crumbles our beliefs, and contributes to changing us to become just the same.

It is both what we do and what we decide not to do that distorts that never restored balance.

Fear? Insecurity? Rejection? Revenge? Power?

My “why”s persist and multiply.

We crave peace, yet what have we done to actually bring it to life? Have we even tried? Have we even considered that we could actually be resenting it. Deliberately? Controversial, we are. Controversial is this world. So that’s what it shall remain? A myth?

Why? Why have we given up on our principles? What for?

What on Earth have we become? What have we turned this Earth into??

Injustice is everywhere. Injustice could be the answer, Injustice itself could spark the same question. Why?

Tell me why People should suffer for others to cherish? Why should people fall for others to rise? Why should the unfair hold the key to power? What is power? What is authority? What are principles? Because what I see explains none of them, but rather redefines them all in contradiction.

This world has become a chain of compiled injustice presenting more “Why”s along the way. Seems like, why has become the answer rather than the question…

In the midst of everything, I’ve taken an oath to never stop questioning “Why”, for once we give away that one question, then we’ve become part of the contradiction. The day we give that away is when we stop believing.

I’ll carry this flag to the grave if I must
Cause it’s flag that I love and a flag that I trust