Minutes to sleep

Posted: June 6, 2012 in Uncategorized

I crawl under my sheets, my duvet so sedative and soft. My eyelids growing heavy with sleep. I snuggle a pillow and wrap my arms around it. A teddybear once took its place. I squeeze it harder as my mind puts a memory on snooze. It never leaves, does it? I’ve convinced myself with what I needed to believe and it has been working pretty well. But under the covers, when the world goes to sleep and my minds filters its data, I am always obliged to remember. 

Quietly, I sink. I put my head down onto a pillow I’ve stuffed in memories. A part of me is sick of trying to fill up a void that swallows my attempts into emptiness. I dig my face deeper and deeper, my hands still clutching the pillow; trying so hard to fall asleep and escape the pointless episode of a subtle theme somewhere between remorse and acceptance.

I force my eyelids to shut down, with a rush of air stretching my lungs, and slowly loosing grip of the pillow. I lose myself to the quietness. 

Eyes closed, I lay numb awaiting a dream. 

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