Swish

Posted: June 28, 2012 in Basketball, communication, Emotions, evaluation, hope, Memories, Randoms, Sport

It’s empty and quiet. I can hear my footsteps echo in silent squeaks as I slide myself onto the polished maple floor. Poorly ventilated; yet always so sedating.  My eyes reach for the rack. I grip a basketball in hand. So tightly, as the pressure escapes my fingers. I stare as my thoughts begin to unleash. I spin it; and my world spins along.

Re-ignited; with adrenaline and a fair state of mental turmoil that competes with the energy. Or actually rather creates it. The building pressure eases as I shoot. An air ball. I shoot again. Another air ball. A surge of aching disappointment runs through me, and I know, it’s not the shots really; it’s what brought me down here in the first place. I soon find myself stuffing the ball through the rim and into the net in agitation. Way better, it feels. Mighty.

I try to sort my thoughts out, and relatively my life. A free throw. My thoughts stealing my shots away leaving me throwing bricks. I’ve been rather blocking myself from tapping into them; but it has always felt safe here. Here, I am my own master; I offer myself the pleasure of creating my own base-lines and securing my every detail I need to share within these. Reserved  intact and secure. I keep shooting; and thinking along. My life rebounds.

I am soaked in sweat; but it makes me feel alive. I’m tired; not from the playing but from the way my thoughts turned out to be no more than a bounce pass. The shooting has never stopped; but this time it’s more precise. My energy starts to fade, and along with the soothing ache in my muscles my mind seems to clear itself up. My thoughts scattered in the air. Empty; my brain rejoices.

A few thoughts still linger though; but I want them to. I need them to.

The quietness grows beautifully intimidating. My heart dribbles. It’s one last decision to make; one last shot.

Swish.

Dedicated to a friend,
in an attempt to know what it’s like to be in his world...

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