Into sleep

Posted: August 6, 2012 in communication, complexity, Music, Randoms, Weirdness
Tags: , ,

The world goes to sleep; I wake up. Rays of fading light slip the edges of the door cracking the darkness of my room. It’s cold; I switch the AC off. Much quieter. I drag my body back into my bed, stumbling upon things I fail to recognize. I fall into cold crispy sheets. I can’t tell the colour; it’s dark, I’m sleepy, and I don’t care. My body crashed; sore. I stretched, then crawled into myself. I stared at a blackened ceiling that I chose to think of rather as my gateway to sky. Just as black. I shoved some air into my lungs, and it seemed to take more energy than it should. Letting it flow out was even harder.

Everything ached. Sigh.

Thoughts eluded my mind, ache ate my heart away. There were the  memories I didn’t want to remember, the feelings I didn’t want to feel anymore, the questions I refused to answer and the reasons I refused to give in to. I was my own throe.

Somewhere between the life I once had, and the life I craved I had lost myself. Somewhere between a haunting past and a daunting future, I lost my present. I was shedding layers of myself. I wanted to escape; myself and my being.
I flipped my body aside. My face dug a hole into the  pillow; my hands clutched another one, pressing harder every time I manage to shove another bunch of alternating memories and thoughts into my collapsing mind.

I had a life that suddenly slipped away, that was painfully ripped away, and ripped me along.Why? I have never known. Where did it go? Who took it away? I have never known. And I no longer bother. If only I could erase a memory; seal it so tightly, wrap it so decently, ship it safely to where it belongs then destroy it to bits and pieces.

I rub my face. I sigh, I listen to the heartbeats that are no longer mine. My eyelids grow heavier and heavier. I wait for sleep to take me away.

Into sleep I forget. Into sleep I escape.


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