Abandoned

Posted: August 11, 2012 in complexity, Emotions, immagination, Love, Memories, quotes, Story, Weirdness
Tags: , ,

Her eyelids part; she scans the room. She gulps, forces some air into her collapsing lungs, scans the room one more time; gulps and breathes again, then a sigh; awake. She stares at the shadows over her window, her senses escape her, urged by an unexplained racing heart, and diverge fading into quietness… He’s not there. He no longer whispers. Sigh. Her heart sinks in. It was only a dream; a very silly dream.

It has been a while since she last missed him. A couple pf months? Probably even more. The heart she once abandoned beats, this time in agony. Why now? Her eyelids shut again. They burn, as the dream flashes. Her mind remembers; going back far beyond the dream into memories of what seems a long long time ago. It’s not. Remorse.

His face flashes. The curls of his hair dangle along. His eyes flicker into the image that floats the darkness behind the eyelids she pressed so hard. She wasn’t quite sure if she just wanted to keep the face she once loved revived, or if she was in so much pain that she couldn’t pull them apart. Either way, she kept pressing them, harder and harder. The memories flooded.

He held her hands, pressed them into his, harder every time. He kept her close; so close, he wrapped her in his arms, placed her head over his shoulder, watched her fall; for him, into him, and into sleep. He whispered love into her ears, his eyes followed her, kept an eye on her and craved her. He’s made her cry yet His hands slid her cheeks, his fingers wiping her tears away, patting her shoulders; in reassurance; in love.

And for the first time in that too too long she wished he was there. To hold her, to wipe these rivers away, to drag her with him and into him; to love her like he once did.

For the first time, she sheds the layers of herself to reveal one so broken and shattered.

Eternal, she thought it was. Immortal and infinite; forever. And forever he was gone; along with everything else.
Why? She still asks. She still gets no answer. She abandons her heart, yet it still aches. Why now? She doesn’t want any of this anymore, she’d abandoned it all.

Her despise to weakness and despair pushes the memories away; eats her heart away, reinstalling the rigid backbone of nothingness into her. She gulps, pushes some air further into her, deeper. She tries to split her eyelids apart but they’re glued with tears. Sigh. She finally opens her eyes. Numb.

She shouldn’t be looking back. His memories are no longer welcomed.
A rush of air into her lungs runs chills down her body.

Enough with people. Enough with the world.

” He promised her the world then he left her alone in it”

She abandons people.
She abandons the world.

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