My Parade of Thoughts

Posted: August 22, 2012 in communication, complexity, Emotions, Life, Love, Memories, Randoms
Tags: , ,

There are words you can’t speak, can’t write, but can only lay back and listen to your mind digest. I depart; I leave the world along with my music. Far away, I escape; leaving everything and everyone behind. For the next hour, there is only myself and an entire album to dive into; to drown…

My parade of thoughts begin…
These thoughts I shall not write, I shall not sing, I might only speak; whisper, to you, only you, then leave. I try to compose words, to structure sentences, to stitch my thoughts into chains of words. Soon I fail myself, and you. I can’t. I won’t. These thoughts are not to be spoken to anyone but myself. This time, my thoughts are only mine. Sacred, they are. Concealed within me, they remain.

Empathy and sympathy are the last I long for, the last I need at the moment. What good are they worth? What good shall they bring?

My thoughts march and organize themselves in my mind. Arrays of events, arrays of people, arrays of memory, all link and interlink. Soon they evolve into conclusions, into understanding. My mind revels then relapses into nostalgia as it peeks into the bigger picture.

And the bigger picture still falls under a thought, I shall speak to no one but myself. Not you, not him.  Just merely myself. A thought I shall not write down for words have become the strength we hide behind in weakness. I need not hide, so I won’t write. There’s no point.

These thoughts you’ll never know; no one ever will. They are not a temptation; a wild desire you choose when to feel and when not to. They’re not. I am not. They are not a lost chance to leave you the choice of going for and after them or letting them go. My thoughts offer no choices… My thoughts remember but  hold no grudge, my thoughts forgive. My thoughts and I, live in peace.

My mental parade soon comes to an end. Drums roll, music fades. Awake I rise.

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