Archive for September, 2012

A long way to go

Posted: September 28, 2012 in photography, Randoms, Weirdness
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Our little new friend

Had it been easier, if only we were so little. So tiny and minute… So insignificant?

I honestly have no idea how my friends and I spotted that. And for some reason, as awkward, random, and pointless as this is, we managed to establish a weird bond with what has become our new friend… For a fraction of a second.

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Fear is weakness; and I’m not weak. Fear is numb, but I feel. Fear is restraint, so I decided to break free.

With every word you’re afraid to speak, there’s truth that is buried down, feelings that die out, a life that is vaporized. With every step you’re afraid to take, there’s a chance lost; once and forever; once and for all, there’s time; the wait that drives people away.

There is regret. This time, rather for what you didn’t do, what you didn’t say, for the one moment you let it slip away.

In the name of Fear, I regret… The words I was too weak to speak, the chances – from the tiniest to the biggest of them- that I was too scared to take, the life I was too fragile to hold on to, to fight for, to run after, to chase with every ounce of energy and to cherish with every heart beat.

In the name of Fear, I apologize; to myself, to people; the closest of them and the most distant, and to the world. I apologize… For escaping, for running away; for denying myself the right to exist; to feel, for hiding; from a reality I thought I was too shattered to face, too helpless to endure.

I am not.

In the name of Fear, I give up, on fear itself; on worries, on doubts.

Doublethink

Posted: September 15, 2012 in Books, complexity, Life, quotes, Randoms
Tags: , , ,

To know and not to know, to be conscious of complete truthfulness while telling carefully constructed lies, to hold simultaneously two opinions which cancelled out, knowing them to be contradictory and believing in both of them, to use logic against logic, to repudiate morality while laying claim to it, to believe that democracy was impossible and that the Party was the guardian of democracy, to forget what it was necessary to forget, then to draw it back to memory again at the moment when it was needed, and then promptly to forget it again, and above all, to apply the same process to the process itself- that was the ultimate subtlety: consciously to induce unconsciousness, and then, once again, to become unconscious of the act of hypnosis you had just performed. Even to understand the word “doublethink” involved the use of doublethink.

From 1984 , George Orwell

It’s my third year studying pharmacy and biotechnology and some subjects just don’t seem to get any more interesting. Not at all…
In this case, pharmacognosy. I have never been fond of it, and I am pretty sure I never will. We just don’t get along.

Today, I decided to break up only to hook up with my passion for arts.

The seeds creativity sow

Say Hi to Dougie, my little shell creature.

Dougie !

A long break this has been. A good one. One I was desperately in need of. I escaped. There has been a life I quit, people I ran away; to and from, a whole world I chose to leave behind. I thought it would help me keep my mind off everything, but no. Quite the contrary, it gave way to thinking, which I eventually realized I need quite as much.

The outcome was: change. Sheer change. Blunt and bold. Drastic. I needed such solitude for such amendments to take place. And it did. And still is.

Now my break comes to an end. So does the world I have created for my own during what I could possibly refer to as: spiritual rehab. I am reintroducing myself, once more, into this life. I am reintegrating myself, or rather, the newer version of myself.

Change is good. It feels better, stronger, and if possible, much much more certain and mature. Throughout this time, I’ve found peace. my thoughts ripened.

Change. It’s not over. And that’s the challenge now; to maintain the outcome of a rough time.

Putting up my genuine 15 inch smile, I start over.

I’ve been trying to monitor my attitude lately. This last week has been a good chance for some personal evaluation. Ive been pushing my thinking further and deeper; broader.

“Why?” was one of the useful tools, I personally found handy. It was more of the ache that starts every productive chain of thought. I might fail to fetch an answer, there could be no answer in the first place, or maybe a bunch of them. Whatever! Whatever it was, why has been the push, the trigger that maintains the ache, that just keeps you looking around. For anything and everything.
And with every stop there is a “why” that diverts your thoughts into something even bigger, or smaller. Again, whatever. What matters is that there’s always something for you to stumble upon after every why that comes your way.

Why is the key. Unlock the gates, don’t just jump over. Train your mind, to think, to ask; to question why. You are your own guide.

So ask. Keep questioning. Embrace the enthusiasm of the question, why. Unleash your thinking, give your thoughts the pleasure of diverging and converging midst a pool of questions.

Engage your curiosity to broaden your knowledge. Embrace the inquisition of the mentality of a child.

Keep asking until you master it’s art. Keep asking, phrasing questions, playing them around. Never stop. Just ask.

Why?