Archive for the ‘immagination’ Category

One, two, three, four…

The beat echos in the emptiness of herself.

One, two, three, four…

An arid breath flows into her. She glides through…

Eyes closed, hands in the correct posture; she embraces the vacancy between her arms.

She swings, gripping the emptiness that flows between her fingers. Her steps slide, a lock step. She sways, an inside turn, an outside turn… She drags herself, a walk.

One, two, three, four…

A Chasse.

One, two, three, four…

Dos-a-dos.

One, two, three, four…

The air whirls as she moves. Memories flash…

She swirls, and  loses herself between what was and what could be.

She floats upon the emptiness she holds close, only to drown into it.

One, two, three, four…

The pace slows down.

One, two, three, four…

She melts. The air she has molded into a dear significant is slowly vaporized, leaving mists of remembrance to dry on her cheeks.

“Saw your beauty and I kept in mind
Imagine your smell and touch
Imagine all of us”

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Softly, it creeps next to me. An aura of warmness that slowly structures and reforms itself as it grows into a fading existence, a subtle creation of my restless subconscious. A substitute to ease my burning desire, to bring the ache to an end, and to revive a memory once abolished.

Softly, it crawls into the abyss within myself. A temporary sense of living lures; A heartbeat. An extended breath that goes deep into the pits of pierced lungs. My subconscious revels in the ambiance of a once relevant atmosphere. Pampered with the lust it feels once again. Tarnished feelings reborn.

Softly, it embraces me. It slides over my skin, soothes the twitching body,  fills up the spaces between my fingers, presses over my feeble hands, sucking the pain out of a vulnerable me. A presence, I can’t see. A presence that grows potent and significant towards my side. Provoking.

A rush of cold air blows, as though the ghost of my everlasting memory blew a sinister breath that evoked consciousness whining in remorse. Aching in remembrance, rendered helpless to pathetic reminiscing.

A sigh escaped. A tear followed, as the relics of an existence my subconsciousness put together was vaporized into nothingness. Sheer nothingness. Vanished into thin air.

The memory subsides.

Quiet.

Sink into the depth of yourself. Float in the vacancy of a heart drained empty. Breathe. Ventilate the closed chamber within. Welcome yourself into the void of your own. Fall. Slowly, quietly. Drown.

Quiet.

The music plays. Listen, as you sink. Peacefully, silently. Again, breathe, as you slide into the darkness of your soul. How dark is it there? How far have you gone?

You fall. Faster and faster. Until you bounce, on a cozy bed of memories. Your heart rebounds. Does it feel? Your mind twitches. Does it remember? You still bounce… And the stories bounce along, floating all together in the vacancy of emotions once abandoned.

Desire has diminished into nothingness. Only a beautifully provocative brain still remains, still reminisces, still remembers, a feeling rather than a memory, still describes a story not a character, still active in useless remembrance.

Quiet.

The music proceeds.
Transport yourself into a fantasy that ceased to exist.

Pour a vision into a dreamless sleep.

 

Beep.

Her hearing ached.

Beep.
Beep. 

Her eyelids parted. Blurred vision. Blinding lights blurred her sight even more. She flipped her body to the other side, dug her face into the pillow.

Beep. Bee…

The sound faded…

Dripping water; a droplet chasing another, echoing in emptiness. Breaking rays of light shone dimly from a wooden cracking wall embracing the dampness. She dug her feet a few steps further into muddy puddles until the mud suddenly solidified; A staircase of cracking wood rotting into moisture. She carried her feet and dropped them onto the wood before her. It squeaked. Up she went, slowly. It squeaked again. Louder. She looked up; a whirlpool of stairs swinging in nowhere. The stairs below her shook, dissembled, and started falling down. Sucked into darkness. Up she ran. Away, as fast as her muddy outfit enabled her, from the void beneath. The void grew wider, faster,  chasing her upwards. Her muscles ached, her lungs chocked, she was running out of breath and out of energy to carry herself further up against the force dragging her, sucking her breath, and strength, away. She gasped for air; her heart dibbled. Suddenly her breathing ceased. A couple of heartbeats echoed before they vanished into complete silence. Her expressions froze, bold; her mouth wide open, her eyes stuck out. The swish of her last breath echoed.  She stepped into nothingness.

Beep. Beep. Bee… 

Blood shot eyes unveiled a landscape of bushy meadows sealed in a bright bright blue sky. The wind tickled her dry skin filling her lungs up with air. The silk of her dress floated in thin air. She walked, with eyes fixed at  a distant horizon growing nearer. And nearer… And nearer…So close that she seemed to trip over; so suddenly that her breath clogged her windpipe. She was a hundred meters above a wild ocean. Blue waters, deep. Very deep. With waves slamming the boulders beneath in selfish hunger. The rocks beneath her feet dissolved into pebbles. Helpless, her body fell along, again, into nothingness. Her corpse smashed into the waters.

Beep.

Again, her eyelids parted. Blurred vision, yet a little less than before. She flipped her body back onto the other side. Face still dug in the pillow.

Beep. Beep. Bee…

The sound faded…

… into a sea softly lapping. Her body floated. A sandy shore. The lapping grew louder. A blue fabric wrapped her sore body. Dry, but for its ends. She pulled her feeble structure up, her feet barely carried her. Sand grains tickled her toes. She walked… It was only a few steps before the shore disappeared into a dessert. Sand dunes, everywhere. Grains of sand danced in winds that slowly howled into a roaring storm. Her bare feet were sown deep into the sand until one blow plucked her out. She flew.

Beep. Bee…  

Violins. She could hear them play from behind the clouds. A thick lush forest grew wild in plants that slowly arranged themselves into a neatly packed maze of greenery. She walked. The violins played louder; sweet sweet melodies. Her heart trembled. She walked; dragging the tail of a decent white dress with a faint spill of pink and a flower adorned along the curve of her waist. The same flower that suddenly multiplied along the edges of her path. Curls of her dark hair dangled over her face, dancing before her eyes.

She walked. Into the perfectly packed cuboids of greenery. The violins faded. Birds murmured a few more notes. Then, everything seemed to shut up. Quietness.

Beep.

All she could hear was her heartbeats beginning to race.

Beep. 

A hand grabbed her arm. The flesh beneath it’s grip turned sore. Her heartbeats lost their sync. A soft breeze cuddled the curls away from her eyes. The hand slowly loosened its grip. He stood still, behind her subtle existence. He whispered words she couldn’t hear. But the voice! It was the a voice she knew perfectly well. One that quickly and abruptly alerted her senses.  Her eyes rolled in circles as she fetched her mind for a name tag to that voice. He murmured words that flew in a decent sedating tone. Her eyes seemed to stand still, as though her mind found a match. Her lips parted. A desperate smile pinched her cheeks. Her eyes froze in wild bewilderment. Her heart beats echoed.

Lub-dub. Lub-dub. Lub-dub…

She slowly turned her head. Her world flashed into brightness except for the figure growing clearer in front of her.

Beeeeeeeeeeep.

Her eyelids repelled one another. Her eyes froze in an expressionless face. A rush of warm air into her stretching lungs slowly restored her senses. She gulped… She gulped again, then sighed. Her head, heavy with an erupting memory tilted to the side. The same faint smile slowly introduced some life to her face. 

She remembered.

Beep.
Beep.

It was him…

Her eyelids part; she scans the room. She gulps, forces some air into her collapsing lungs, scans the room one more time; gulps and breathes again, then a sigh; awake. She stares at the shadows over her window, her senses escape her, urged by an unexplained racing heart, and diverge fading into quietness… He’s not there. He no longer whispers. Sigh. Her heart sinks in. It was only a dream; a very silly dream.

It has been a while since she last missed him. A couple pf months? Probably even more. The heart she once abandoned beats, this time in agony. Why now? Her eyelids shut again. They burn, as the dream flashes. Her mind remembers; going back far beyond the dream into memories of what seems a long long time ago. It’s not. Remorse.

His face flashes. The curls of his hair dangle along. His eyes flicker into the image that floats the darkness behind the eyelids she pressed so hard. She wasn’t quite sure if she just wanted to keep the face she once loved revived, or if she was in so much pain that she couldn’t pull them apart. Either way, she kept pressing them, harder and harder. The memories flooded.

He held her hands, pressed them into his, harder every time. He kept her close; so close, he wrapped her in his arms, placed her head over his shoulder, watched her fall; for him, into him, and into sleep. He whispered love into her ears, his eyes followed her, kept an eye on her and craved her. He’s made her cry yet His hands slid her cheeks, his fingers wiping her tears away, patting her shoulders; in reassurance; in love.

And for the first time in that too too long she wished he was there. To hold her, to wipe these rivers away, to drag her with him and into him; to love her like he once did.

For the first time, she sheds the layers of herself to reveal one so broken and shattered.

Eternal, she thought it was. Immortal and infinite; forever. And forever he was gone; along with everything else.
Why? She still asks. She still gets no answer. She abandons her heart, yet it still aches. Why now? She doesn’t want any of this anymore, she’d abandoned it all.

Her despise to weakness and despair pushes the memories away; eats her heart away, reinstalling the rigid backbone of nothingness into her. She gulps, pushes some air further into her, deeper. She tries to split her eyelids apart but they’re glued with tears. Sigh. She finally opens her eyes. Numb.

She shouldn’t be looking back. His memories are no longer welcomed.
A rush of air into her lungs runs chills down her body.

Enough with people. Enough with the world.

” He promised her the world then he left her alone in it”

She abandons people.
She abandons the world.

The sky is green, stuffed in fluffy clouds of orange. The sun is covered in a faint seal of magenta. The earth is purple, it’s grass is purple and the waters shimmering in a smooth flow of crimson red… The horizon shuffles in patterns of flickering amber, orchid and electric lavender… Silver linings, golden edges… reflect rays of elusive colours.

Another river flows. Blue from the bank, slipping into teal, drifting darker into it’s royal deep shades that gets eaten away by a bordering patterns of ruby. Flowing parallel to one another; adhering at an edge of pungent purple that splits them. And slides away, from ruby to crimson to shades of maroon…

Fields of alternating purple and lemon yellow splice the land. They twist and shiver under the faint rainbow colours of morning dew.

The sky is still green, patches that come in all intensities bound together into a huge emerald over my head. Clouds are still orange. An array of scattered peaches and pumpkins.

And here I stand, in the midst of my colour palette, enjoying my fine world of awkwardness that is only true  in my head. Scents of vanilla and cream alternate and merge into others of exotic berries…

Blue berries are red, red berries blue, and the black ones have turned white…
My world splashes colours I feel.

In my head… Everything comes to life.
In my palette… I come to life.

She loved keeping an eye on him, even at a distance. Her eyes screened the thousands of people for a face that matched the image of him she has kept intact in her mind. Her eyed rolled over the figures of people, until a match was found; until  she spot him. And she paused in quiet serenity. She paused at the details of his face like it was the first time; decent and loving. She would look away, just to hide the obvious, but soon her heart would drag her eyes, craving another glimpse of his reserved beauty. He looked back, and his eyes shrank as his smile stretched through his face. Her eyes grew brighter with delight, and so did his.

She looked away, but he kept looking. His eyes were finally following those who ran after him for days. She marked the spot where he stood safe in her memory so that she knew where to look back once more. Her face moved slowly, heading back to him only to make it seem as random as possible.
The spot was empty; he wasn’t there. Her heart raced in anger. She was now looking hectically in all directions all over the place, checking the spot on every round of searching. He still wasn’t there. Gone.

Her heart sunk in; disappointed.

Her eyes lost him, but her heart never did. She never felt easy not seeing him around. She didn’t care if they ever talked, just the fact that he was within close proximity, within visible distance gave her a subtle feeling of warmth… Of safety… When he wasn’t there, here eyes will start scanning every possible where just to fetch him, just to hunt him down. And she would never give up until she offered herself the pleasure of seeing him, of looking and falling into him… Once found, shed capture the looks of him, add it to the mental album of him, and close her eyes. His figure floated. A few minute glimpse were never enough, but that was when dreams came in handy.