Archive for the ‘Memories’ Category

In Appreciation, I write, not in remorse.

To and for a time so timeless,

Sentences, scattered in structure, disrupted in its sense of sense, yet humbled by the feeling that triggered the urge to write in the first place.

I write,

Till I’m drained empty.

Till the words squeeze into sour juices of meanings.

I write and write,

Till the heaviness is gone, shedding layers of me within layers of paper, squirting blue ink of my royal blood from a loaded pen… That still drips

And I still write,

Dispersed letters, grouped only to be distorted upon a thought, that reforms then dissolves…

Into canals of clogged memory lanes, superimposing timelines from different times.

And the pen still drips,

What lips failed to speak, of the relics a crippled heart keeps…

Onto papers,

That never really existed.

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One, two, three, four…

The beat echos in the emptiness of herself.

One, two, three, four…

An arid breath flows into her. She glides through…

Eyes closed, hands in the correct posture; she embraces the vacancy between her arms.

She swings, gripping the emptiness that flows between her fingers. Her steps slide, a lock step. She sways, an inside turn, an outside turn… She drags herself, a walk.

One, two, three, four…

A Chasse.

One, two, three, four…

Dos-a-dos.

One, two, three, four…

The air whirls as she moves. Memories flash…

She swirls, and  loses herself between what was and what could be.

She floats upon the emptiness she holds close, only to drown into it.

One, two, three, four…

The pace slows down.

One, two, three, four…

She melts. The air she has molded into a dear significant is slowly vaporized, leaving mists of remembrance to dry on her cheeks.

“Saw your beauty and I kept in mind
Imagine your smell and touch
Imagine all of us”

Cheeks, rounding up in a faint blush of pink as a smile softly stretches across.
A name, pressed on lips of cherry red…
And it leaves a taste of subtle sweetness that seeps into relics of a restless mind.
A pounding heart, escapes a breath that floats strings of tangled hair, upon a lust; so feeble in its presence, so potent in its burning ache.
Eyes, shuttered, upon a figure as memories drain life into its existence.
Heart still pounds, name still pressed and lust still stings…
Yet I still deny myself the right to feel.
Anything, if anything at all.

Precious, you once were.

Precious, your memory is.

Precious, what I felt will always be.
If you have forgotten, I’m grateful memory has cast its mercy upon your ache of remembrance.
If you haven’t, like myself, I’m thankful memory has paved us a lane to meet… To steal a glimpse into a time, so timeless, before consciousness seeps guilt upon the forbidden pleasure we both never ceased to sin; remembrance.
I still remember,
because precious, I once promised to keep you.

You have been stuck in my memory for so long that you have become so rotten, even yet you show up quite often that your memory still lingers; so fresh.

This, I say…
In the abyss of remembrance; to and for a memory that with time grows yet so dear to my heart than it ever was. And do I owe it to sheer reminisce or rather to remorse that I do not know.

This, I say…
In a time so timeless; ticking back to reverse. And have I lost track of time because I have come so far or rather because I have never really stepped forward in the first place, that , also, I do not know.

And this, do I say out of craving or out of resentment?

I do not know.
I do not know.

Somewhere, sometime, in Birmingham, UK.

Somewhere, sometime, in Birmingham, UK.

Night bids the sun farewell. From wild orange to decent purple the sky flickers until it settles under a blanket of elegant black. Stars burn out, dissolved into the void above myself. And I stare into the infinite nothingness until the lights dazzle my sight; the pavements adorned with the demure brightness of the street lamps.

A decent rush of cold air welcomes me on board. Tonight, it’s only these streets and myself…
A memory, ignited as the same streets pave their way into the alleys of my remembrance. And I recall myself walking down the same streets, breathing the same chilling air, listening to the same outrageous music of these streets fade into midnight, as they empty from all people and traffic…
I recall, an existence walking by my side, now gone. I recall, a heart enjoying the epitome of vibrant emotions, now empty. A few more steps down my way, and I recall, a soul ecstatic and alive, now barely living.
I walk, the streets are soothing. It’s quiet, they listen… To every memory that bounces upon every ignorant footstep…
l drift, and they drift along.
The night stretches, so does the streets. And endless, my walk becomes.
It’s the same people, walking down the same streets, yet their hearts exchanged for something rather different; less genuine, more detached- emptier.
I walk. I recall and recall, and the streets soothe the ache.
The night eats the passion away.
The memory escapes.
An unleashed spirit that leaves; vaporized into thin air, leaving a mist of sweet reminisce on my mind, and body.
Tonight, I’ve laid a memory to rest.

It lingers in its subtle shades of a fading demure. It floats, in its feeble dress of a life, called upon from the depth of the deepest pits of a restless mind. Plucked and stretched out to mask the domains of present, past and future; to merge them into one thickened blanket that overlaps the margins of time. Distorted then dissolved until timeless it becomes, dominant it grows.

Slowly it seeps, softly it creeps. Relics of a promise, manifested by the conscience of a clinging memory; one that, although vague and blurred, never fails to blatantly impose.

Stagnant silence, embraced then disrupted by a fragile reflection that defies the limits of remembrance and extends far beyond the borders of mind, dipping and dripping into the waters of desensitized emotions. A synthetic breeze of life, diffused to fill its nothingness.

And it still fights the forces of remorse salting its sweetness out, turning the lust into ache.

It falls, onto the tips of dignified despair, condensed into an evaporating mist of reminisce. Vaporized, leaving behind a pungent scent of a gradient of relinquished shadows of promises once made.

Words of a memory; outspoken.

once and never again.

Words engraved by the broken tip of a blunt blade of a memory.